Notes to Self 5

[George Kennie]

Tim,
This stuff is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  However, I do feel that it
may be approaching the time to consider replacing FB!

Tim Taylor wrote:

>   As we recall from our last episode Our George Forman of the
> Pattern Wars is trying to make a come back.  Today's scene is
> Sunday at the local flying field Setup: 10-15 gusting to 20 mph
> quartering cross winds.  "Hi Flying Buddy Don't worry about
> yesterday it could happen to anyone" Just DON'T do it again. Ok as
> I hand the call sheet to flying buddy we taxi the airplane out to
> the runway and take our sinister legs shoulder width apart
> fighting stance. Ok take off roll is pretty straight down the
> runway and lift off is right in front of where the judges are
> expected to be sitting climb out is SWEET!!!!! Little did our hero
> know this would be the best he'd see all day. Ok trim pass is
> uneventful and turn around and get the heading and altitude
> correct to establish where we're going to fly the bottom. Ok so
> far so good, "What's the first maneuver there Flying
> buddy"? Reverse Cuban eight.  Ok we pull a little late but no
> biggy as this will be our first time flying the whole sequence.
> "Ok that looked decent what's next?" Stall turn, Ok pull up and
> establish vertical, hmmmmmmm missed that by a bunch and the wings
> were not near level when I pulled. Ok almost flop the stall but
> recover ok and head back down and pull out. "What's next there
> FB?" Long silence.  " Uh a slow roll is next" Ok I'm dang near to
> center so just go ahead and do a slow roll, hmmmmm rudder is still
> a bit "touchy" for my taste and we finish the roll way past center
> but that's ok this is why we practice. "Ok there FB what's next"?
> dead silence. WHAT'S NEXT !!! "Oh 1/2 square loop with 2 of 4 in
> the vertical."  Ok pull to vertical, Man I can't seem to hit wings
> level before I pull or stop when it's vertical.  ok neither 1/4
> roll is centered and the radius isn't even close. Ok we'll Polish
> later and lets see if we can just do the maneuvers somewhat
> correctly. What's next kemosabby? Outside Square Loop with 1/2
> rolls in the verticals. Hmmmm ok that looks somewhat ok if you
> call different radii and over pulling the vertical and
> non-centered somewhat ok. What's next? Bunt with 1/2 roll out.
> "What's a BUNT"? Oh ya that's a 1/2 loop with a 1/2 roll at the
> bottom. Why not call it a reverse Split S? Ok that wasn't so bad
> missed my altitude and heading and came out climbing. Light bulb
> went on about that time that I forgot to add a bit more weight to
> the front of the airplane.  Fix that before next flight. What's
> next ? "ok a Double Immelman with 1/2 on top and full on bottom
> exit inverted."  Ok the pucker factor just went up a notch Gotta
> think this one through a bit so it's NOT gonna be pretty, Ok first
> 1/2 is fine stretch the top a long way because I don't really want
> to do this full roll from inverted at the bottom. Ok time to
> commit before I fly this center maneuver out of the box. Push over
> and make a decent 1/2 loop and when level fit the ailerons to do
> the full roll, ok a bit of timing issue on that role and we need
> to work on it.  NEXT!!!!!!! Outside Immelman exit inverted. Ok
> that wasn't a biggy just have to work or radius and timing.  NEXT
> !!!!!!!!  45 Degree down 1 negative snap, "You want me to do
> WHAT???????"  "Your kidding right?"  Ok here goes pull down to
> what is supposed to be a 45 degree and think ok now what? Oh ya
> you set the snap button up for this last week. Ok find the button
> and hit it. WHOA BIG BOY!!! 2.3 snaps later I get my finger off
> the button and straighten the airplane out and unpucker my
> buttocks. Oh ya that sinister stance I took at the beginning of
> this flight has long since changed to a turned into a WEEBLES
> WOBBLE. Ok whew what's next?  Landing? Please tell me I can land
> now!!!!!!!!  No says flying buddy you have to do a Top hat with
> 1/4 rolls entered inverted and exit upright. I make a mental note
> to check the schedule once I land to make sure ole FB isn't
> getting even with me for the harsh words I spoke the day before.
> What do you mean entered inverted?   I'm upright.   Oh ya that's
> right I really butchered that negative snap didn't I? Ok do the
> top hat ALL WRONG and exit inverted. Go figure. Can I land now
> pretty please?  NEXT! Triangle rolling loop with 2 of 4 on top. Ok
> push to the 60 degree line    "Push?   the books says PULL !!!!
> oh ya that's right I buggered the top hat.  Ok over the top and
> just fly a quick 4 point it to get back to exit inverted.Dang it
> this is getting worse by the second !!!!!!!  Can I land
> NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is getting to be too much
> work! NEXT!!!!!!! Push pull pull Humpty bump, Ok I CAN'T screw
> this up it's too easy, Yeah right.  SO far this flight I have not
> pulled or pushed yet with the wings level so why should this be
> different?  It wasn't Ok straighten up the airplane to vertical ok
> need some rudder to get straight, NOT THAT WAY !!!!!!!!!!! THE
> OTHER LEFT!!!!!!!!!!! ok so I CAN screw up a simple maneuver as
> well as the hard ones. At least I know I'm consistent. NEXT
> !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Avalanche- Ok this used to be my bread and butter
> maneuver way back when. Pull and get near the top roll the
> throttle back a bit and bang the sticks, POW a PERFECT
> SNAP!!!!!!!!!!  YIPEE SOMETHING FINALLY went right I make a
> comment to FB that it was a killer Avalanche to which he replies
> "Well you really flattened out the top after the snap and your
> exit was lower than your entry". Ok FB remind me why we've been
> friends for 25 years now? I might need to rethink that a bit. ok
> NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!! Stall turn with 1/2 rolls.  Remember that easy
> Bunt? Well mix that with the first stall turn you saw and you'll
> get the picture, nuff said.  NEXT !!!!!!!!!!! Four Point!!!!!!
> OK I LOVE this one!!!!!!   Bang out a decent four point too bad it
> was off center by a bunch. ok NEXT !!!!!!!!!!! 1/2 square loop
> with 1/2 role in the vertical Ok that was pretty good!  Shuddup FB
> no comments from you for the rest of the
> flight. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!  2.5 turn spin with a 1/2 roll out. Ok I
> like the way this airplane stalls and spins. Ok so I missed the
> point to release the spin and over rotated so SHOOT ME!   ok when
> do I roll out?  Oh ok I got it, before we
> crash. GOTCHA! NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I land now
> please!!!!!!!!!!!! LANDING!!!!!!!!! Yehaw!!!!!!!!!! only
> non-optional maneuver in the bunch! Ok line up and plant the
> airplane for a 10 right in the middle of the runway and right
> infront of the judges. YEAH RIGHT, nothing else has went right why
> start NOW? Ok I admit I forgot to flip back to low elev rate after
> the spin and I bobbed and weaved all the way to the ground. But I
> got it there in one piece and without a scratch. FLIGHT
> COMPLETE!!!!!!!!   Dang that's hard to do. FB just smiles and says
> "you've got one weekend to get ready" Did I mention I want to kill
> Flying Buddy right about now?  Ok go sit down and talk about the
> flight and where I screwed up and fuel up and do it all over
> again. Ok several flights later I'm still over snapping,over
> spinning,over rotating,under pulling,over pushing hitting the
> wrong rudder the first try and generally screwing up the whole
> flight but the pucker factor is slowly going down so until next
> weekend this will have to do. Fade to Black as our dejected but
> somewhat understanding pattern King wannabe packs up the trailer
> and wonders where the heck this Headache came from. Oh that's
> right we'll blame it on Flying Buddy it's all HIS FAULT!


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