Notes to Self 5

[Tim Taylor]

As we recall from our last episode Our George Forman of the Pattern Wars is trying to make a come back.


Today's scene is Sunday at the local flying field 

Setup: 10-15 gusting to 20 mph quartering cross winds.


"Hi Flying Buddy Don't worry about yesterday it could happen to anyone" Just DON'T do it again. Ok as I hand the call sheet to flying buddy we taxi the airplane out to the runway and take our sinister legs shoulder width apart fighting stance. Ok take off roll is pretty straight down the runway and lift off is right in front of where the judges are expected to be sitting climb out is SWEET!!!!! 

Little did our hero know this would be the best he'd see all day.

Ok trim pass is uneventful and turn around and get the heading and altitude correct to establish where we're going to fly the bottom. Ok so far so good, "What's the first maneuver there Flying buddy"?   

Reverse Cuban eight.  Ok we pull a little late but no biggy as this will be our first time flying the whole sequence. "Ok that looked decent what's next?"  

Stall turn, Ok pull up and establish vertical, hmmmmmmm missed that by a bunch and the wings were not near level when I pulled. Ok almost flop the stall but recover ok and head back down and pull out. "What's next there FB?" Long silence.

 " Uh a slow roll is next" Ok I'm dang near to center so just go ahead and do a slow roll, hmmmmm rudder is still a bit "touchy" for my taste and we finish the roll way past center but that's ok this is why we practice. "Ok there FB what's next"?  dead silence. 

WHAT'S NEXT !!!

"Oh 1/2 square loop with 2 of 4 in the vertical."  Ok pull to vertical, Man I can't seem to hit wings level before I pull or stop when it's vertical.  ok neither 1/4 roll is centered and the radius isn't even close. Ok we'll Polish later and lets see if we can just do the maneuvers somewhat correctly. What's next kemosabby?

Outside Square Loop with 1/2 rolls in the verticals. Hmmmm ok that looks somewhat ok if you call different radii and over pulling the vertical and non-centered somewhat ok. 

What's next?

Bunt with 1/2 roll out. "What's a BUNT"? Oh ya that's a 1/2 loop with a 1/2 roll at the bottom. Why not call it a reverse Split S? Ok that wasn't so bad missed my altitude and heading and came out climbing. Light bulb went on about that time that I forgot to add a bit more weight to the front of the airplane.  Fix that before next flight. 

What's next ? 

"ok a Double Immelman with 1/2 on top and full on bottom exit inverted."   

 Ok the pucker factor just went up a notch Gotta think this one through a bit so it's NOT gonna be pretty, Ok first 1/2 is fine stretch the top a long way because I don't really want to do this full roll from inverted at the bottom. Ok time to commit before I fly this center maneuver out of the box. Push over and make a decent 1/2 loop and when level fit the ailerons to do the full roll, ok a bit of timing issue on that role and we need to work on it.

 NEXT!!!!!!!

Outside Immelman exit inverted. Ok that wasn't a biggy just have to work or radius and timing.

 NEXT !!!!!!!!


45 Degree down 1 negative snap, "You want me to do WHAT???????"  "Your kidding right?"

 Ok here goes pull down to what is supposed to be a 45 degree and think ok now what? Oh ya you set the snap button up for this last week. Ok find the button and hit it. WHOA BIG BOY!!! 2.3 snaps later I get my finger off the button and straighten the airplane out and unpucker my buttocks. Oh ya that sinister stance I took at the beginning of this flight has long since changed to a turned into a WEEBLES WOBBLE.  

Ok whew what's next?

 Landing? 

Please tell me I can land now!!!!!!!! 

 No says flying buddy you have to do a Top hat with 1/4 rolls entered inverted and exit upright. 

I make a mental note to check the schedule once I land to make sure ole FB isn't getting even with me for the harsh words I spoke the day before. What do you mean entered inverted?   I'm upright.   Oh ya that's right I really butchered that negative snap didn't I? Ok do the top hat ALL WRONG and exit inverted. Go figure. 

Can I land now pretty please?

 NEXT!

Triangle rolling loop with 2 of 4 on top. Ok push to the 60 degree line    "Push?   the books says PULL !!!!  oh ya that's right I buggered the top hat.  Ok over the top and just fly a quick 4 point it to get back to exit inverted.  
Dang it this is getting worse by the second !!!!!!!

 Can I land NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

This is getting to be too much work!  

NEXT!!!!!!!

Push pull pull Humpty bump, Ok I CAN'T screw this up it's too easy, 

Yeah right.

 SO far this flight I have not pulled or pushed yet with the wings level so why should this be different?  It wasn't Ok straighten up the airplane to vertical ok need some rudder to get straight, NOT THAT WAY !!!!!!!!!!! THE OTHER LEFT!!!!!!!!!!! ok so I CAN screw up a simple maneuver as well as the hard ones. At least I know I'm consistent. 

NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avalanche- Ok this used to be my bread and butter maneuver way back when. Pull and get near the top roll the throttle back a bit and bang the sticks, POW a PERFECT SNAP!!!!!!!!!!  YIPEE SOMETHING FINALLY went right I make a comment to FB that it was a killer Avalanche to which he replies "Well you really flattened out the top after the snap and your exit was lower than your entry". 

Ok FB remind me why we've been friends for 25 years now? I might need to rethink that a bit. 

ok NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!!

Stall turn with 1/2 rolls.  Remember that easy Bunt? Well mix that with the first stall turn you saw and you'll get the picture, nuff said. 

 NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!

Four Point!!!!!!    OK I LOVE this one!!!!!!   Bang out a decent four point too bad it was off center by a bunch. 

ok NEXT !!!!!!!!!!!

1/2 square loop with 1/2 role in the vertical Ok that was pretty good!  Shuddup FB no comments from you for the rest of the flight. 

NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!


2.5 turn spin with a 1/2 roll out. Ok I like the way this airplane stalls and spins. Ok so I missed the point to release the spin and over rotated so SHOOT ME!   ok when do I roll out?  Oh ok I got it, before we crash. 

GOTCHA! 

NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I land now please!!!!!!!!!!!!

LANDING!!!!!!!!! Yehaw!!!!!!!!!! only non-optional maneuver in the bunch! 

Ok line up and plant the airplane for a 10 right in the middle of the runway and right infront of the judges. YEAH RIGHT, nothing else has went right why start NOW? Ok I admit I forgot to flip back to low elev rate after the spin and I bobbed and weaved all the way to the ground. But I got it there in one piece and without a scratch.

FLIGHT COMPLETE!!!!!!!!     

  Dang that's hard to do. FB just smiles and says "you've got one weekend to get ready" Did I mention I want to kill Flying Buddy right about now?


Ok go sit down and talk about the flight and where I screwed up and fuel up and do it all over again. Ok several flights later I'm still over snapping,over spinning,over rotating,under pulling,over pushing hitting the wrong rudder the first try and generally screwing up the whole flight but the pucker factor is slowly going down so until next weekend this will have to do.

Fade to Black as our dejected but somewhat understanding pattern King wannabe packs up the trailer and wonders where the heck this Headache came from. Oh that's right we'll blame it on Flying Buddy it's all HIS FAULT!
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