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<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><span class=EmailStyle19><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial'>The last bit reminds me of another story—supposedly true,
overheard on ATC at Frankfurt (as I recall), Germany:<span style="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>Several years ago a pilot of an American (US) airline 747
landed, pulled off the active runway and asked for instructions to the gate
since heavies in those days could only use certain taxiways.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The German controller asked <span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Iss this yourr first time to Frankfurt?”
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“No” was the reply.<span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The controller then asked a little
sarcastically “..Thenn why don’t youu remember where to go?” <span
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The Captain politely replied, “I’ve only
been here once--in another Boeing type…we didn’t stop—just dropped something
off.”<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><span class=EmailStyle19><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><span class=EmailStyle19><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial'>RS<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span class=EmailStyle19><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=2 color=black
face=Tahoma><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black'>-----Original
Message-----<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>From:</span></b>
nsrca-discussion-bounces@lists.nsrca.org
[mailto:nsrca-discussion-bounces@lists.nsrca.org]<b><span style='font-weight:
bold'>On Behalf Of </span></b>Richard Strickland<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Sent:</span></b> Thursday, July 13, 2006
12:05 PM<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>To:</span></b> nsrca-discussion@lists.nsrca.org<br>
<b><span style='font-weight:bold'>Subject:</span></b> [NSRCA-discussion] FW:
[ATR Ltd.] Military humor</span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'>--> </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.5in' DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-left:1.0in"><span class=emailstyle20><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>
<div DEFANGED_STYLE="background-color:">Sent to me by a former fighter pilot
and current automotive writer from my car group.<span DEFANGED_STYLE="mso-spacerun:
yes"> </span>Seems somehow appropriate today…<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.5in' DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-left:1.0in"><span class=emailstyle20><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.5in' DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-left:1.0in"><span class=emailstyle20><font
size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>RS<o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;
margin-left:.5in'><span class=emailstyle20><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span
style='font-size:10.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></span></font></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:.5in;mso-margin-top-alt:auto;mso-margin-bottom-alt:
auto;margin-left:1.0in'><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]></span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div DEFANGED_STYLE="PADDING-RIGHT: 20px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; Z-INDEX: 1;
FLOAT: left; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; WIDTH: 530px; PADDING-TOP: 0px;
POSITION: relative" id=ygrp-msg>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:.5in;margin-left:.5in"><font size=3 color=black
face="Times New Roman">
<div id=ygrp-mlmsg>
<div id=ygrp-text><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'></span><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]></span><span
DEFANGED_STYLE="font-size:12.0pt;color:black"></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:1.0in;mso-margin-top-alt:auto;
mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;margin-left:1.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'>Old but gold.</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal style='margin-right:1.0in;mso-margin-top-alt:auto;
mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto;margin-left:1.5in'><font size=3 color=black
face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'> </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial
flight. </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:
windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in
the window <br>
seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice, "Admiral,
<br>
United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons." </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a
tight lipped <br>
smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married, two sons, <br>
both judges." </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to
introduce himself. <br>
With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief, United States Navy,
<br>
retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals." </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy backroad
<br>
encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he
pulled alongside. </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing
him the keys,"Yours is." </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at
his desk <br>
when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel <br>
quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
<br>
"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your
message. <br>
In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man, he asked, <br>
"What do you want?" </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied,
"I'm just here to hook up your telephone." </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>-----------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Soldier:"Sure, buddy." </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's
try it again. </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Soldier: "No, SIR!" </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>-----------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? <br>
A: He'll tell you. </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? <br>
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet
engine? <br>
A: The jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the
barbershop. <br>
They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers
reached <br>
for some after-shave to slap on their faces. </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My
wife will think I've been <br>
in a whorehouse!" </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>The Chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put <br>
it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman,
"I suppose <br>
after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so
you <br>
can come and pee on my grave." </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"No sir, after I get out of the Navy I am never going to
stand in line again!" </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he
<br>
fumbled for his passport. </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"You've been to France before, monsieur?" the customs
officer asked sarcastically. </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>The old gent admitted that he had been to France previously. </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"Zen, you should know enough to 'ave your passport ready
for inspection." </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have
to show it." </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black;
mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>"Impossible. You Americans always 'ave to show your
passports on arrival in France!" </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style='margin-left:.5in'
DEFANGED_STYLE="margin-right:1.0in;margin-left:1.0in"><font size=3
color="#333333" face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:#333333'>The American senior quietly explained, <br>
"Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44, I couldn't find
any <br>
Frenchmen to show it to." </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black;mso-color-alt:windowtext'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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